The Kindest, Most Supportive Sales Page for Your Business Retreat
The Client
You know when you learn a lot about somebody, and you immediately think,
“I *NEED* to meet them”?
That’s how I felt about Melanie. My husband was working with her to build a personalized writing instruction app (which I later wrote the website for!), and I kept hearing little things about her like, “two-time nonprofit founder,” “former teacher” (like me!), “helping underserved high schoolers get into college,” and “leads a retreat for female solopreneurs.”
Not long after, it turned out that Melanie needed someone to write sales page copy for said retreat, so we connected and… the rest is history!
The Backstory
Melanie had run this retreat a few times previously and had amazing testimonials. But she knew the sales page wasn’t doing enough to highlight the transformation attendees were always raving about after they left.
She’s a writer—like, not only someone who writes well but also someone who teaches writing at the college level—but she knew that sales page copy was a whole different genre and decided she needed help.
She said, “I felt like I didn't know how to express myself and ‘sell’ in a way that aligned with me… while also [actually] selling something.”
Enter: an empathy-first copywriter ready to make the most supportive sales page known to (wo)mankind.
The Deliverables
One SEO-optimized sales page designed to fill the spots for Your Business Retreat, a four-day, in-person, oceanside, luxury retreat for female solopreneurs, without a DROP of icky marketing and stress-inducing copy.
The Goals (And how we crushed ‘em)
We set out to create a page that felt authentic to Melanie's warm, intelligent voice while highlighting the (extreme!) value of her oceanfront retreat. Our target audience was “good-hearted women solopreneurs” who felt stuck or burnt out, and we wanted the sales page to feel like an invitation to pause the daily grind and gain clarity about what's next for their business—without the pressure of a prescriptive agenda or the noise of typical business networking events.
We also wanted to…
Attract the right people (and very nicely repel the wrong people)
→ This retreat wasn’t right for everyone, and we literally put that on the sales page. Melanie was looking for "good-hearted" women solopreneurs who value quality experiences over quick fixes — and the copy intentionally calls in those people with sections like:
Get those right people to take action and book a call with Melanie
→ We did this by making the next steps low-pressure and so incredibly crystal clear, communicating the limited capacity and sign-up deadlines in a non-stressful way with copy like:
Reassure readers re: their most common objections
→ We knew her ideal clients would be worrying about price, not knowing anyone, and whether it would really help them. We addressed these totally valid concerns throughout the copy with empathy and zero-pressure with sections like:
Position Melanie as a thoughtful, trustworthy host
→ Outside of her Mini About (pictured above!) where we established Melanie's expertise through her background in education, coaching certification, and PhD, we also included powerful video testimonials and highlighted specific quotes from each, like:
Clearly communicate the “this isn’t like other retreats” vibe
→ We of course wanted to showcase the luxury aspects of the retreat and emphasize the individualized, co-created experience. With the results and transformations being so varied between attendees, we both highlighted this personalization and included an in-depth “choose your own adventure” style agenda section:
The Favorite Lines
I loved this whole project, but there are, of course, some lines that did make me want to dust my shoulders off.
“How you can be sure this retreat brings the steak, not just the sizzle”
Why I love it: A near-direct line from Melanie during our kickoff call, so perfectly her, and she was delighted to see it on the sales page.
Why I love it: The visually appealing-ness is one thing, but the messaging? Freaking bullseye.
The Review
“Working with Caitie has been a dream. I wholeheartedly believe that more people are going to be interested in booking a call with me to talk about coming to the retreat [after reading this sales page]. Caitie takes the time to really understand what you're trying to achieve on your website, and then she delivers exactly that!"
The Shout Outs
Melanie’s sales page copy was brought to life by the incredible Sara Strese, the founder of Good + Ready Design Company (who I am dying to collaborate with again, so go check her out!).
Want an empathy-first, conversational sales page of your own?
Sign me the heck up! Check out my services, get in touch, or—if you’re not quite ready to outsource your copy—sign up for my newsletter. Every week, you’ll get a story and a strategy to help you feel better AND write better in your business ✏️ ✨